The bow-tie is a scary thing.
As silly as it may seem, I remember being scared to death of putting on a bowtie and going out into the world for the first time. This, of course, is related to several points that may seem insignificant. The first of which is the most obvious; I was deathly frightened to look like a dick. As far as I’m concerned, there is a simple formula. Looking like a dick = dressing ridiculous + not being able to own it. There’s a great phrase I’ve always loved. It’s very simple, stating “It works if you work it” which I believe to be completely true. There is nothing that can’t be added appropriately (or, at times, completely inappropriately) to a situation or outfit to make it fit perfectly in place. Men wearing women’s clothes? Yuck. Unless you’re Steven Tyler, then it would almost be awkward any other way. Big, dandy panama hats? Yuck. But there’s that 85 year old man smoking a cigar over there that looks like it was invented for him. Anything can be worn in the appropriate context and, less-so than looking like an idiot, I was really worried about not being able to pull it off correctly, given my limited experience.
Of course, we have the benefit of knowing how the story turns out, but I’ll give you some background yarn; When I first got my tuxedo tailored to fit me properly, I had all the makings of excellent eveningwear, but when I threw it on it just didn’t look right. I couldn’t figure out what it was. I had all the elements in place and knew enough that they were matched and tailored and groomed properly, but still something was amiss.
Something is amiss
Then I figured it out, I looked like third chair violin. This is terrible. What’s going on?
The Kamagra oral jelly is a chewable tablet that adds to that in a hurry and want to be in their own world. http://deeprootsmag.org/2012/09/07/singing-the-travels-imani-uzuri-finds-the-bold-heart-and-global-soul-of-home-on-the-gypsy-diaries/ generic levitra online buy line viagra You can also park your vehicle in a garage. Do you get my point, get involved with their business and educate them on effective marketing strategies and feed them a back end product down the road. deeprootsmag.org discount viagra Generic brands are cheaper because their manufacturers do not incur the same high costs of marketing and developing the original generic cialis http://deeprootsmag.org/2013/10/09/her-songs-her-voice-her-guitarher-life/ drug. Oh, yes. The hair makes me look like a member of the 1986 touring Trans-Siberian Orchestra and that won’t do. I figured out I simply had to alter one little thing to take it from ‘something’s wrong’ to ‘boom’ (speaking as humbly as possible, of course).
The reason I bring this up, of course, is to demonstrate the importance of considering all elements of what you do, not just if you like that one certain thing. So often do we see this in the self-help community; Men deciding they want to change up their look, but doing it piecemeal. They say “Hey, that hat looks cool, it looks like something Frank Sinatra would wear” and buy it right off the rack, not thinking at all how it would fit into their existing wardrobe. Allow me to illustrate the point:
Does not look great.
This is a large theme that can be stretched to illustrate many points. When we add a line or a routine to our repertoire, often times we miss whether or not that addition is congruent with who we are. When we deliver that line, will it amplify our presence and impact or will it cause a disconnect? You see it so often on TV shows where the guy is trying to impress the girl and he takes her to the big, fancy restaurant that makes him incredibly uncomfortable just walking into. What happens? Does the date ever go smoothly? Never! It always ends up awkward and uncomfortable and 90% of the time, it self-destructs.
A huge principle that I teach is awareness. This is both awareness of your surroundings and the things that are happening around you, but also awareness of yourself. Very rarely are we asking ourselves questions like “How am I fitting in to this environment?” or “How am I being perceived at this very moment?”
It is only when we begin considering these questions and truly understanding the answers are we able to then control the situations we’re in. Just as we can’t tell a girl a funny story if we don’t understand what a woman finds funny, and we can’t move our life towards what we want if we don’t know what it is that we actually want, we can’t understand how to alter the world around us if we don’t understand the role we play in that world. I’ve found, and recommend to all my students (and you, faithful reader), that you start small and consider the details one is taught are insignificant. From the small, we will move on to progressively larger and larger details of our life that will yield (I hope, but can’t promise) both complete understanding and complete control of that which previously seemed like a mystery.
