On the subject of "effort" and why men must make it.

***Reposted from Cliff’s List as my first submission to their website.***

Click the photo for more pictures by Tim Gurczak.

At the behest of some of their followers, I’ve just been asked by Cliff’s List to make a weekly contribution as a sort of style advisor, the end goal of which is to make you look like the million dollars you should feel like. This is both a great honor, and a daunting task as I have such strong opinions on the matter of men’s style and, since the group is so vociferous in nature about their beliefs, I’m certain I’ll be sharing a few ideas that may rub the current opinions the wrong way. On the other hand, I think that’s why I’ve been asked to do this.

First and foremost, I’ll introduce myself. My name is Gareth Jones. I’ve been involved in this community for six years, teaching for ABCs Of Attraction for four and running my own company, Art Of The Playboy, for the past year. I’ve taught thousands of men in 10 countries, in countless cities, and I’ve taught alongside some of the best trainers in the industry: James Marshall, Sasha Daygame, Kezia Noble, Vince Kelvin, John Keegan; the list goes on and on and on. My time teaching has been diverse and interesting and I maintain that I’ve learned just as much about the world from my students as they’ve learned from me. Among the most important things I’ve learned is how clearly and powerfully the idea of effort is communicated and how easily it’s communicated in how we dress ourselves. I’ll explain.

The majority of arguments against spending time and effort dressing well revolve around one argument, and that argument is always delivered by poorly-dressed people. It is summed up by saying “You don’t need to dress well when you’ve got UNSTOPPABLE INNER GAME!!!” generally followed by an Inner Game product advertisement. Sound familiar? It is a seemingly logical argument that traps the guys that take any PUA opinion as gospel. As we know, that’s a super dangerous thing to do, so I’ll give an example that disproves the aforementioned statement.

After a long and vicious journey, you have reached the imaginary stage of PERFECT GAME (crowd cheers). You are able to woo any woman you choose. You have dated the richest and smartest and most beautiful women in the world and the world is now an endless playboy fantasy. Women want you and men want to be you. Your game is 100/100 (especially your inner game). You strut confidently and slowly into a bar filled entirely with MEN (shudder).

Unfortunately, because 100/100 game exists in your imaginary world, another man walks in shortly after. He and you are matched in confidence and game. You actually know about him because both of your reputations flow freely around the world, vociferously related by drinking buddies and whispered in quiet circles of high school cafeterias everywhere as if it were a fable told by warriors of days-gone-by around a fire pit.

There is only one difference: You’re in a t-shirt and basketball shorts, and he’s the most dapper man for 100 square miles. His shirt is crisp and white and his knitted tie is perfectly disheveled. His three-piece suit looks like it’s been gifted by Cary Grant and he oozes old-world class without appearing out-dated. Simply, he looks like a spy, a drug lord, a business mogul, and a womanizer rolled into one. He turns heads.
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You both sit around for a spell with your respective friend groups and then she walks in; the woman you’ve both heard about. The woman you’ve pined for. The only woman you’ve yet been unable to connect with. Though, it’s not for lack of skill, it’s simply because she’s impossible to reach. With all your connections and skill, she simply is surrounded with people and it’s been a nightmare trying to access her. She’s constantly traveling around the world, busying herself with her art and her various CEO responsibilities, and her monthly work with autistic children, and neither of you have been able to get her alone for a conversation. But, now the time has come.

You and your competition both approach her, you both connect, you both interact. It’s useless trying basic physical defense, because you’re both operating at the highest level. You anticipate each other’s every move. She feel good, she feels charmed, and she feels wooed. You’re both making her trials and efforts worthwhile.

But she only wants one…

Who does she choose? Unfortunately, she takes a look at both of you, and she sees the  minimum amount of effort in you. She sees you dressing for comfort. She doesn’t know if you can step it up when she has to bring you to an event with her peers. She doesn’t know if you skimp in other areas of life. She doesn’t know if you would love her properly.  She doesn’t see your ‘inner game,’ she see’s your gym shorts and wonders why you’re wearing socks with them. Whether or not any of her assumptions are true, she still worries. In any other circumstances, she might take her chances, but today a more reliable and, frankly, desirable choice exists… and it isn’t you.

While this is, of course, an extreme example; it is possible. Regardless of what you think a woman “prefers” in any given situation, dressing well is a display of the pride you take in yourself and a very clear demonstration of your respect for those around you.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll give you a bit of a primer on the elements that go into upping your personal style and visual value. Make NO mistake; I won’t be turning you into a pink-handkerchiefed dandy (after all, where would I be if there were a bunch of those running around??). I’ll simply be providing you with enough information to get you making informed decisions regarding either refining your personal style, or revamping it entirely. Whether it be finding out how to get those shirts fitting properly, the proper trouser length, or picking a whole new outfit to besuit yourself at your favorite girlfriend’s birthday bash, I’ll be giving information everyone can use.

Hope this helps,

-GRMJ